The Great Bunny Caper
by spinyporcupines
Summary: When a poker game spirals out of control and countries with various other personifications start to disappear. It is up to the remaining countries, states, and regions to find and rescue them. Can theses scattered loved ones rally together to save those they hold dear?


**To Emo, May you lead us well for all our lives**

To say it was a good old fashioned American party would be true by most counts. It had all 50 states in attendance, which is better then you could really say for most American parties. Hell, even the Republicans in 1972 didn't have Massachusetts. And some territories decided to drop by, too. It had a great selection of foods and drinks from all over the world, as well as dancing, booze, pool, video games, laser tag, and BBQ. But there was one factor, one thing that kept most from calling it a real American party. His name was Mathias Kohler, the nation of Denmark.

Denmark had been invited by America. Just because it was an American party didn't mean he couldn't attend. This is America for God's sake, the melting pot of the world. Who cared if the Dane was at the party? Well, apparently Nevada did. Ah, yes, Harold Allen. The playboy gambler of the family and Alfred's favorite brother. Or, so Harry likes to assume. Just over 150_, _he only appeared to be twenty.

"Does this guy seriously have to be here, Al?" Nevada asked as he ran his hand through his dirty blonde hair. "I mean, I know he's an old friend, but this was an _American_ party."

"Dude, Den's a cool guy." America reassured him, patting his brother's shoulder. "What's your deal?"

Nevada sighed, shaking his head. "My deal is I can't make stereotypical jokes about other nationalities now that you've brought an outsider in! He can't be an outsider if he's in! That makes him an insider!"

America laughed that heroic laugh of his. "I'm sure Den won't mind! We make jokes all the time."

"I mean, you could even make jokes about my country. My politicians certainly don't make it out of place." Denmark piped up.

Nevada was obviously not convinced. Not. One. Bit.

"That's what they all say." Nevada scoffed. "I make a joke and bitches get ALL up in arms over it. This was a serious buzz kill. I'm gonna go play some poker. HEY TEDDY! LET'S GO PLAY SOME POKER!" He yelled, snatching up poor Ohio and dragging him into the basement. The shy, blue eyed brunette was reluctantly submissive to his brother's tugging and pulling.

This was an unfortunate circumstance, as another of America's brothers was in the basement, and he certainly didn't want to be disturbed. Massachusetts was not in a good mood, as all he had brought to read when he was dragged to another of his brother's parties was Hawthorne. Now it wasn't like Mass didn't like Hawthorne as a person, it's just that he hated his writing style, though despite his best efforts, he also loved it. He always read it when he was dragged to one of America's parties - it would occasionally force him to socialize and occasionally force him to actually reread his favorite/least favorite author. Either way, he hoped that the results of either activity would force America to not drag him to his parties, which alas it did not.

The sight of Nevada and Ohio did not help his mood because he was trying to be anti-social at this particular party, and he hated Nevada and Ohio about as much as he did the rest of his family. I mean, he didn't really hate them, but he would rather chill with an intellectual like England - have a cup of tea or something (and rest assured he has already considered the irony of that). Though really he'd rather down his coffee, which he did as soon as he saw the two come down.

"Masshole, what's up?" Nevada greeted as he and Ohio strolled down the stairs.

Lawrence did not look up from his book. "I may have approved casinos, but if you think you can give me your gambling addiction, then go make free energy. At least you'll learn to get a normal sleep cycle that way. Though who knows how far across your state those neon lights flare."

Nevada had a comment to make, but Ohio punched him in the arm. "No."

"Fine." Nevada grumbled, pulling out America's old poker table. "Coffee whore, Dorothy Gale from Return to Oz acting, wannabe England mother-"

"If not for me, you would be some neglected desert territory owned by Britain or Spain. How good of me to helm a revolution to empower our dear brother." Massachusetts stated calmly, as if the more mature, though their equal appeared age did not help his cause there.

"That's. Enough." Ohio glared, which was very out of character for him.

"Bastard…" Nevada muttered, grabbing a pack of cards from his back pocket.

Mass ignored him and kept on reading his book, knowing that if he spoke that would just be more opportunity for Nevada to rope him in and rob him blind. Though not blind, he was fully aware of the aces up Nevada'ssleeve.

"So… Masshole…" Nevada trailed. "You gonna play or what?"

"No. Probably not. Not unless you present me a respectable player."

And with that. America walked down the steps, which still didn't convince Mass upon sight; however, he was followed by Denmark.

"Hey. I heard you were gambling down here and it sounded like fun." Denny hollered.

Mass sighed. When was he going to get to play with a European again? Well, Denmark was not the classy type like Austria but he was European. Mass quickly flipped off Nevada and sat at the table.

"Bitches these days." Nevada jabbed, rolling his eyes. "So now you wanna play, huh? Fine then." He shuffled the cards as he and Ohio took their seats. Soon enough, the basement started getting packed. A few other states wanted in on the action, as well as America's alien bestie, Tony.

"Whoa, dude. I didn't know you gambled. They have poker on your planet?!" America asked Tony excitedly. Of course, Tony replied in his own little alien language that America was said to understand.

"Oh…" America sighed, sounding disappointed by Tony's reply.

"Um… Al, who's that?" asked Denmark, quite thrown by the nonhuman presence

"It's a mass hallucination America likes to give us. You didn't drink the water did you?" Mass sardonically answered.

"Ignore the stick in the ass." Nevada joked, getting a chuckle from one of the states. "That's Alfred's super cool alien dude… thingy…"

"His name's Tony!" America told Denmark with a grin. "He's like… the coolest alien in the universe."

"Oh, Haj Tony" Denmark greeted the alien.

Tony replied in gibberish and America smiled, which was a good sign… hopefully.

Denmark just sighed and dismissed the gibberish. "Alright, so are all of you young'uns ready to fall to the Old World?"

"Ha, right." Ohio laughed. "Not with how Harry cheats."

"I do not cheat!" Nevada huffed. "I just know how to play, unlike _some _people." He looked over at Ohio with a smirk.

"If you don't cheat then England isn't the dullest guy in the world." Ohio rolled his eyes.

"Actually, Mass is the dullest guy in the world. Just saying..." Nevada snickered.

"Hmm. How's your sex life, Harold?"

"Oh, it's GREAT; thanks for asking." Nevada smiled. "Countless women...in and out of my bachelor pad."

"More like countless blow up dolls in and out of your bachelor pad," America shook his head, making everyone laugh.

"Shut up! That was one time! A-and you dared me to get it anyway, Alfred!" Nevada blushed deeply.

Mass smirked and high-fived America. "And that is why we have girlfriends."

Denmark curiously watched the scene. "Oh, who?"

"ANYWAY." Nevada yelled, finishing shuffling the cards. "Enough… dumbass talk. Let's just play the game." He started dealing the cards.

"Her name's Cascata." continued Mass as he was dealt.

"She's a super cool mermaid chick." America smiled brightly. "She has like… this really cool hair that's totally its natural color and everything."

"Really?" Denmark asked the table. "Are you guys just trying to lull me into playing badly?"

"What do you mean?" America asked, obviously not picking up what Denmark was putting down.

"A mermaid girlfriend? You're just stealing lyrics from that Lonely Island song. The one about the boat." Denmark chuckled.

"But she is a mermaid!" America said. "You have to believe me, dude. She's like the freakin' little mermaid! Well, without the red hair… and being named Ariel… and having a prince to marry. I mean, look at L-Man. He's no prince."

"Believe it or not they aren't lying." Mass piped up. "I just don't tend to draw attention to the fact."

Denny looked at him. "Your name is Lawrence Greene right?"

"Yes" the state answered.

"Hmm…" Denmark pondered "I think my sister Malta mentioned that name before. Or was that France…"

"Malta?" Nevada asked with a confused face. "Wait a minute. You're Denmark, right?"

"Yes" Denmark asked. "And I'm not because?"

"I could've swore Malta was like… Italian." Nevada said, crossing his arms.

Denmark sighed. "It is a very long story that involves multiple personalities and her husband Prussia and enormous hospital bills that I'd rather not tell for the sake of keeping this chapter to a manageable length."

After a moment of silence, Nevada nods. "Seems legit."

"...So anyway." America said, breaking the awkward silence after Nevada's final words on the situation. "Let's play some poker."

"'Bout damn time." Nevada grumbled as the group finally began the game.

"Ah dammit." Mass said at the hand he was dealt "I fold."

"Damn you." Ohio glared at Nevada, folding as well.

America and Nevada both stayed in. They both thought they had pretty good hands. They looked over to Tony. Poor Tony didn't know how to play poker so he just pushed his chips into the middle of the table.

"Uh.. Tony. You sure that's a good idea?" America asked.

"AH, NO! TOO LATE!" Nevada snickered. "He put his chips in the pot…"

Denmark folded and sighed "Americans."

Tony, America and Nevada all put their cards down. Nevada, of course, had a royal flush.

"YOU. CHEATED. AGAIN." America stood up abruptly, pointing at his brother.

"I didn't cheat! You hand was shit compared to mine!" Nevada pointed back.

Tony had an evil aura around him as he spoke in tongues.

Denmark looked at him "Why does he look like Belarus right now?"

America looked over to Tony and his eyes widened. "Oh God… he looks just like her. She got that way when Viktor was watching porn and she walked in on it…"

"Viktor?" asked Denmark. "I feel like you're keeping me out of the loop on something."

"My son…." America sighed. "He… does things… that are just not right for the regular person. Unless you're France."

Tony started floating in the air, chanting something in his native language.

"I think there may be something wrong." commented Mass.

"Nah. Tony does that shit all the time." America shrugged it off. That, of course, was until Tony let out a loud screaming sound and a blinding light flashed in the room.

"The fuck?" Mass exclaimed as he opened his glasses rimmed eyes to see Tony had vanished as the light died down.

"...He doesn't always do that, does he?" Ohio asked, looking over at America.

"Uh…" America trailed, shaking his head.

"Okay!" Nevada chuckled nervously. "I think it's that special time of the night where we wrap things up…"

"Alright" responded Denmark, slowly standing up from the table.

Everyone else awkwardly left the basement and eventually the party itself. Nevada and Ohio stayed behind to help clean up. After about an hour of long party clean up, Nevada and Ohio left America's house.

America went upstairs to check on his pregnant girlfriend, Belarus. He knew she was trying to take a nap and he was positive the party from earlier wasn't helping her get any sleep. He slowly opened the bedroom door and poked his head into the room. He looked around and didn't see her anywhere. He thought that was a bit strange, so he closed the door and went into his daughter, Amelia's room.

"Mia… have you seen your mother?"

The young blonde directed her attention towards her father. "Uh… I saw her earlier, but not recently. Why, is something wrong?"

"Well, she's not in our room." America said with a strange look on his face. "And where the hell is your brother?"

"He said something about going out with his idiot friends." Amelia said, rolling her eyes. "He needs new friends. They're all dumb and… just… weird."

America sighed, not in the mood to hear his daughter's opinion of his son's friends, even if what she was saying was true.

"Amelia… just call him for me, okay?" America pleaded, getting a bit nervous.

"Okay, I'll call him now." Amelia grabbed her phone and called her brother. After a few seconds of ringing, it went to voicemail. "He didn't answer."

America groaned. "Great. Two people unaccounted for."

"Three if you count Sammy…" Amelia added, getting an angry look from her father. "Sorry. Maybe… she's in the bathroom."

"Maybe she would be if the bathroom door wasn't wide open." He frowned, glaring at her.

"Well I didn't know! Geez, I'm just trying to stay positive." Amelia huffed. "It's not like they got kidnapped or something." She rolled her eyes.

"You don't know! How do you know?!" America yelled, starting to freak out.

"Dad… take a chill pill. It's not that big of a deal." Amelia said, looking at her father like he was crazy.

"It is a big deal! What if someone stole them?!" He yelled again.

"Who in their right mind would wanna kidnap a crazy woman like mom and a fucked up kid like Viktor?" Amelia asked, rolling her eyes again.

"I dunno! Like… bad guys…"

"What bad guys, dad?" Amelia asked with another eye roll.

"How am I supposed to know?! Just.. bad guys, okay?!" America huffed, seemingly freaking out over nothing.

"Who could you have possibly pissed off?" Amelia asked, then stopped. "Scratch that. Who have you pissed off recently?"

"Uh… that's too many to count." America admitted. "Well, Tony was kinda mad earlier."

Amelia raised her brow. "Tony? The alien, Tony?"

"Yes, the alien Tony!" He said, sighing. "We were playing poker earlier and he lost."

"So he went on a rampage and stole your wi-... girl-... baby mama and son?"

"I guess…" America shrugged. "I have that effect on people."

Amelia sighed, putting her face in her hands. "Have you considered calling mom?" Her words were a bit muffled.

"What?"

"Call mom! Just, call her!" Amelia yelled, laying back on her bed, obviously irritated by her father's antics.

"Okay, okay. I'll call her. But I bet the bad guys took her phone." America huffed, calling Belarus but getting no answer. "SEE! I called it, didn't I?"

"Maybe she's ignoring you." Amelia suggested. "I mean, you did have a rager downstairs a couple hours ago. And she's pregnant, so… her hormones are probably through the roof."

"Oh yeah…" America laughed. "She's probably in her closet then." He smiled, cheerfully walking to the closet.

Belarus has this… strange tendency to go into her closet whenever she's mad, embarrassed… basically every other emotion that isn't happiness, which means she's in there a lot. Most of America and Belarus' fights end with her going into her closet and waiting for an apology. Since Amelia did bring up a good point about the party, which he _totally_ asked before throwing, he just assumed that's where she would be.

He knocked lightly on the closet door, getting no response from the other side. He slowly opening the door and seeing everything but what he was looking for: Belarus.

"She's not in there!" America yelled to his daughter from the other room.

"Maybe she's with Uncle Ivan!" Amelia yelled back.

"How the hell would she leave without me knowing?!" America asked as he walked back into Amelia's room. "And why would she leave to go see him?"

"Hasn't she done it before?" His daughter asked. "Both of those things?"

"Well… yeah… but that's not the point."

"But it's kinda becoming the point."

America groaned. "Oh God. I don't wanna talk to Ivan. I don't wanna take the time to go and see if he's with Nat."

"Then I guess you don't want to see her anytime soon." Amelia shrugged, knowing her father would get over his pettiness and go visit his "brother-in-law."

"Fine. I'll go visit the commie bastard." America huffed, crossing his arms.

"Don't forget about your son. He's still unaccounted for." Amelia reminded him. "But then again… if he isn't with his sorry excuses of friends, he might be with Cassie."

"Well I'll call her on my way to Ivan's." He sighed.

"Maybe she's not even with Uncle Ivan. What if she's with Italy?" Amelia joked, slightly enjoying her father's discomfort.

"Yeah, right." America rolled his eyes. "Maybe she's with Italy." He said sarcastically and he left her room. He grabbed his jacket and car keys, heading for Russia's home.

**Cast**

Denmark- Aronpuma

America- Ariel Leilani

Nevada- Ariel Leilani

Ohio- Ariel Leilani

Massachusetts- Aronpuma

Tony- Ariel Leilani

Amelia- Ariel Leilani

**Cover Art: SteelPorcelainMXIV**

**Editor/Generally Amazing Person: TheSilentNeko**

**This story is not by one author, but is by an Anime RP forum (well, it's Hetalia RPers) in tribute and gift to Emo, our mod and well... friend. She carries the RP and this is one way we want to thank her. This story will have a _lot_ of authors that will vary from chapter to chapter and updates will be dependent on when we get them to write their chapters (so inconsistent) and to be sure there are inside jokes.**

**But if you enjoyed this anyway, feel free to follow, favorite, and/or review.  
**

**PS:**

**And feel free to pm the account, Aronpuma (who is writing this authors note) or someone else will check it periodically, at least once a week if not once a day.**


End file.
